If that was your dad, he is hot
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
