this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize