Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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