I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize