is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
