i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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