I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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