Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize