Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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