This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
