You can't special order awesome
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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