fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
