I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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