I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
