I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize