You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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