ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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