i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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