Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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