coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dick very happy bro
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
