Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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