I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
