Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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