Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
