All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
