Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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