I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
