i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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