We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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