I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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