You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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