Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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