My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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