i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
