i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
