question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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