Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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