I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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