We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize