We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
