It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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