You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
