Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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