I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize