His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
