But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
