I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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