walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
