This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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