We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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