i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
