oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
