I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
