It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
