what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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