Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
