she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
