sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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