Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
