Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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