I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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