you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
