I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
