Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
