This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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