pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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