I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
